Pink Paint
by J. Marguerite
Summary: A conversation between Devi and Johnny. Both are OOC, and I don't care!


A/N: I must apologize to all my readers about the lack of updates to my fics, but you see my computer broke so it had to go into repair. It has been in repair of about three weeks now, and my stepfather has been hassling me to get my own, personal computer. But being as I am going on an exchange program to the U.S. in July/August it would be too much of a cost, being as it costs AU$10,000 for me to go. So my stepfather bought a P.C. for me. That was fine, until I found it didn't have Microsoft Word, so I had to get the program, and YAY! I finally am able to go on a writing spree. I may not update Darkness, Stripped or whatever the heck I was writing before. Har har. Anyway, I'm writing this little ditty because I think it'd be a funny concept. After writing this I may get on a whims and update my other ditties but I doubt it- all my old work has been lost… Fuck. So it may get a bit of fiddling to get all my work back- I lost all 250 songs on my Winamp list, too *cries* So I'm trying to get everything I had back. 

But now, onto this fucked up piece of work!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This disclaimer is boring.

Warning: This will contain swearing because I allow it to. This warning is also boring.

Info: So no one gets confused, here's a bit of info prior to Devi's situation. Tenna asked Devi to do a mural or painting of some sort on her wall. Devi disagreed, saying she had no time, because that's what Devi says. Tenna kept pestering her friend, so, reluctantly, our purple-headed hero finally agreed. Whilst working on Tenna's wall, the latter named female decided to go out and do, I don't know, something. Glad to finally be on her own, Devi switched on the radio, and her favorite song came on. Whilst painting, she began to dance, slipped over the lid of a tin of paint, fell over, knocked the tin of paint over, and got her foot thoroughly stuck in the wall. She tried to free it, but it was firmly wedged in, and was too painful to come out without help. Being as Devi doesn't want to get in trouble with Tenna, but doesn't want to be stuck in the wall any longer, she knocks over a table and gets hold of the phone. After thinking for a moment, she realizes she only knows one phone number, other than Tenna's, by memory, and that phone number is none other than Johnny C.'s. Although she doesn't want to, having a broken ankle doesn't seem to be such a great idea. So, she rings him.

Enjoy!

'Oh, fucking hell, pick up, pick up- FUCK I HAVE PAINT IN MY HAIR! Argh, fuck, does no one answer their phone anymore? Come on, co- finally!'

'… Hello?'

'Johnny?'

'… Devi?'

'No shit, Sherlock, what took you so long?'

'I… why are you ringing me?'

'Because… I'm in a bit of a situation…'

'Oh. Um, and?'

'And I need you to get me out of it.'

'Oh.'

'Yes, "oh". Now… you know where my apartment is?'

'Yes…'

'Well, I'm in my friends at the moment, and she's out, or I'd get her to help me. Her apartment is two floors down from mine, third door on the right. Now, get your ass over here and help me.'

'Okay, okay. Just locking that into my memory, God. So, when do you want me over?'

'Oh, I don't know, take your time, I'll be okay- I WANT YOU OVER NOW YOU IDIOT!'

'Fucking hell, okay! Keep your cool, shit. What is the matter, anyway?'

'You'll see…'

'Do I even want to?'

'Shut up and get over here!'

'Okay, I'll be over soon.'

'Go- oh, thanks for hanging up on me! Jerk… ergh, I look like I'm covered in fairy floss. Why did Tenna insist on pink… Uh-oh… Oh, God, no, HELL THAT MOUSE IS HUGE! JOHNNY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU! SHOO! SHOO! SHOO!'

'I thought you wanted my help…'

'What the fuck? GOD! You scared the living daylights out of me!'

'It seems more like the mouse did… Here, give him a pet!'

'Get that disgusting rodent out of my face!

'Aw. Come on. He only wants a kiss.'

'Johnny, get that filthy rat out of my face or I swear I'll do something so horrible I haven't even thought of it yet. It will vie with the Devil's most utter worst plans.'

'Fine, fine, God, you are getting so temperamental.'

'Well you would be, too, if you had your right foot shoved thoroughly into your friends wall, but wait- I forgot- you have no friends.'

'Shut the fuck up or I'll burn your face'

'With what?'

'My hand. Now get up.'

'I can't, dick-jerk.' 

'Yes you can, you're just lying. Now get on your left knee, that's right, and push.'

'Ow… ow… Hang on, argh, I'm falling!'

'Here!'

'Get you're hands off me, Johnny!'

'If it weren't for me, you'd have smashed your face on Mister Mouse.'

'What, it's _still _here?'

'Yes, now give me your hands, you're fairly stable now.'

'God, I can't believe I'm doing this… Shit, your hands are so cold.'

'Well yours are covered in pink paint. What were you doing, drawing ballerinas eating fairy floss?'

'I don't even know what I was painting- OH HELL I HATE THIS SONG!'

'What is it?'

'I don't know, I just know I don't like it. Turn the radio off… thanks.'

'I've never known someone to be so picky about their music… Well, except for that one guy… I don't think he'll be listening to anything for a while…'

'Johnny, when I rang you for help, I did it because I needed it and I don't think Tenna would enjoy seeing me making out with her floor. I rang you for help, and that's it. I don't want hear any of your… stories.'

'Okay, okay, sheesh.'

'… Hey, what're you doing down there?!'

'Seeing how your foot is wedged in the wall.'

'Oh… You could have given me some warning… OI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?!'

'Getting some of the plaster out of the way so it'd be easier to get out?'

'You're paying for that, you know.'

'Well you're paying for a large majority of the damages. After all, it is your fault.'

'I guess so…'

'Now put your arms around my shoulders.'

'Why?'

'So I can pull you out?'

'… No. I SAID NO JOHNNY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!'

'Oh, shut up, I'm letting you touch me. It's not like I want you to.'

'Fine, fine- THAT HURTS STOP YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING BREAK MY ANKLE!'

'Okay, okay, let's try something else. Here, I'll lift you, and you see if you can wiggle it out.'

'… Okay. But I don't like being lifted.'

'I'll keep that in mind.'

'I bet you will.'

'God, you're heavy.'

'Shut up.'

'Is it out?'

'No… Hey, what- STOP THIS RIGHT NO- ARGH!'

'Ow, get off me!'

'Gladly!'

'Why'd you have to fucking fall on me?'

'Because you pulled me without my consent!'

'Yeah, only to get you out!'

'Well you pulled me out nonetheless and consequently I fell on you.'

'… Heh…'

'What?'

'You have this huge pink print on your shirt.'

'No shit. You've got pink on you too.'

'Not as big as yours'

'Fuck off.'

'… No.'

'Johnny, I said fuck off!'

'Devi, I said no!'

'Immature bastard.'

'I heard that.'

'Oh, Johnny, I hate you! I hate you til the day I die!'

'Now you're sounding like Scarlet O'Hara from Gone With the Wind. Oh, Ashley, I hate you! I hate you til the day I die! Listen to my terrible southern accent!'

'Ergh, why did I even bother with calling you…?'

'From the last time I checked, you rang me because you need help getting out. So I got you out of the wall.'

'Whilst throwing a mouse in my face.'

'Whilst throwing a mouse in your face.'

'That's what I said.'

'I was just confirming it.'

'… Okay, Johnny, you can go now.'

'I don't want to.'

'Well I'm telling you to. I'm not giving you a choice.'

'Why don't we recite more Gone With the Wind prose? After all, you don't mind telling me that you'll hate me until you die, whilst quoting the book.'

'Movie, I've only seen the movie.'

'Either way.'

'… Can't you just go? Tenna might be home soon, and… well, go!'

'Oh come on, aren't you going to thank me first?'

'Fine, thanks for getting me out, now shoo!'

'Don't swat your hand at me, Devi!'

'Let go of me, Johnny, you've had your fun, been heroic, and played with Tenna's pet mouse, now, FUCKING HELL JOHNNY YOU'RE BREAKING MY PERSONAL SPACE BARRIER!'

'Oh, shut the hell up, why do you think I came here? To see what situation you'd gotten yourself into?'

'Yes!'

'Okay, other than that. Why do you think I came here?'

'I don't know! I don't care! God, Johnny- HELP! SOMEBODY HELP! FUCK!'

'Devi, you should be kissed! And often!'

'JOHNNY NO MORE GONE WITH THE WIND CRAP!'

'… Going to be quiet now?'

'Why the fuck did you kiss me?'

'To shut you up.'

'… Immature bastard.'

'Well it's not like you were going to shut up on your own. You started screaming like you were going to be killed.'

'I could have been.'

'Do you think anybody would have come to investigate?'

'No…'

'… Good.'

'Stop kissing me.'

'But you liked it. I can tell.'

'How? With that massive ego of yours?'

'No, by the fact you shoved your tongue in my mouth.'

'Well… You kissed me! Twice! I bet you enjoyed it more.'

'Devi?'

'What?'

'I think you enjoyed much more than I did.'

'Why…?'

'Because your foot is ankle-deep in a tin of pink paint.'

'… Fuck…. JOHNNY C GET YOUR ARSE BACK HERE!

'Nah…'

'Why not?!'

'Because if I did then I'd have to go and save you, and I've done my heroic deed for the day. Toodles!'

'Oh, God… Oh, God... OH GOD NOT THAT MOUSE AGAIN! FUCK!'

'Devi? Why is there a not on the door by a guy named Ashley saying you hate him? And that you should be kissed? And often?'

'Tenna, I can explain…'

'And why do you have a tin of paint on your foot? And why is there a hole in my wall?'

'Don't ask, Tenna… Don't ask.'

A/N: OH ASHLEY! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU TIL THE DAY I DIE!

Judy Garland sings good.


End file.
